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A vehicle for venting on philosophy, religion, and the general state of things. Proprietor: C. W. Powell

Sunday, February 08, 2004

RAZORMOUTH.COM | cutting-edge christian news, reviews and punditry: "Since many Roman Catholics and non-Catholics, aren't familiar with 'un-churches' and their lingo, I thought I'd provide a short, but hopefully helpful, lexicon of 'un-church-ese.' Here we go.

'A sign from God'
I have a good feeling about this un-church. Plus, the refreshments after the worship service were tasty.
'Anointing'
I cried during the worship service for no reason.
'Authentic'
I don't feel compelled to wear nice clothes.
'Communion'
Crackers or pizza. Add soda or juice. Read John 6:63. Celebrate at the end of the service, taking more than seven minutes.
'Contemporary'
Lots of lights, loud music, t-shirts, and a sixteen-year-old pastor.
'Dynamic'
Killer bass and guitar riffs during the 'Mosh With the Messiah!' worship service.
'Freedom'
The pastor doesn't wear a tie, and he doesn't use notes or a pulpit when he shares the special word that God has laid on his heart.
'God told me'
I'm more spiritual than you.
'No structure'
Nobody appears to be in charge or know what's going on. Ain't that great!?
'Non-conventional'
My parents don't attend with me. Ain't that even greater?!
'Non-denominational'
My un-church was established three years ago. We're just like the first Christians.
'Minister' (n.)
The sixteen-year-old up front.
'minister' (v.)
I talk one-on-one to people about myself, my feelings, my needs, etc.
'Personal lord and savior'
You know, Jesus. Sheez, are you Catholic?
'Religion'
The evil attempt of man to reach God. Invented by the Vatican in 325 A.D.
'Spiritual'
Good. I'm very spiritual, by the way.
"Testimony"
I talk in front of the entire group about myself, my feelings, my needs, etc.
"Theology"
Boring. Invented by sadistic monks during the Dark Ages, which was a long time ago, even before MTV.
"Tradition"
Very, very bad. Invented by a Pope in 666 A.D.
"Word of God"
The Bible. I read it and the Left Behind books everyday.
"Worship"
Jesus meets rock n¹ roll.
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Just start your own church. Why not? You don't have to rise up from the dead to do that nowadays. Some of the new "un-churches" in Denver are called: The Journey, Pathways, The Next Level, Connected Life Church, The Crossing, New Life Church, Pierced Chapel, and -- I'm not making this up -- Scum of the Earth Church. This according to Carl Olsen who authors a Roman Catholic publication called Razorback. Some of us think that the disease is malignant, but returning to Rome is like shooting the patient in order to stop his suffering.

What do you do when you become so "connected" to your generation that you can't get connected to God. How do you connect to God anyway? What if what you are connected to isn't God? If you are not 'into" theology, history, and religion what ARE you "into." Crack and sex?

This is the problem: what are YOU doing about it?
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