A vehicle for venting on philosophy, religion, and the general state of things. Proprietor: C. W. Powell

Saturday, November 22, 2014

Prayer and Meditation on Psalm 119:33-40 Number Two

33 Teach me, O LORD, the way of thy statutes; and I shall keep it unto the end.
34 Give me understanding, and I shall keep thy law; yea, I shall observe it with my whole heart.
35 Make me to go in the path of thy commandments; for therein do I delight.
36 Incline my heart unto thy testimonies, and not to covetousness.
37 Turn away mine eyes from beholding vanity; and quicken thou me in thy way.
38 Stablish thy word unto thy servant, who is devoted to thy fear.
39 Turn away my reproach which I fear: for thy judgments are good.
40 Behold, I have longed after thy precepts: quicken me in thy righteousness.” (Ps 119:33-40 AV)

If You teach me, O Lord, I will not forget. Only You can make me receive the engrafted word which
is able to save my soul. I will keep Your law if You give me understanding; otherwise I am foolish, 
with a divided heart, double minded and unable to receive anything from You.

I will delight in Your commandments when You make me go in the path of life: in thy presence is 
fullness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore. But You must cause me to go, 
because my nature is prone to hate God and Your commandments.
My heart is filled with its own desires, for all men seek their own, and not the things of Christ. You 
must incline my heart unto Your testimonies if I am to escape the corruption of the world through 
lust. Only You can purify my heart so that I can see God. I pray that You would turn my eyes away 
from the emptiness and folly of the world; give me life to go in Your way.

May Your word be sealed and ratified to me, O Lord, for only Your Holy Spirit can authenticate and 
overcome my unbelief and folly. When I heard the word of truth, the gospel of salvation: I trusted in 
You, in the gospel of salvation: and was sealed and devoted to Your fear, for the Holy Spirit of 
promise is the guarantee of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, unto the 
praise of Your glory. These I attest to, also, and set to my seal that You are faithful. This is Your 
work, O Lord, and not mine.

The thing I fear, O Lord, is reproach; either to be reproached of You, for Your judgments are right 
and good; or to bring reproach upon Your Name and Your glory. Therefore I long after Your 
precepts; make me to live in Your righteousness, O precious Father. This is also Your work.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Pelosium strikes again!

This I beheld, or dreamed it in a dream, or maybe a friend sent it to me:

Subject: Densest Element known in science

Pelosium strikes again!


A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the densest element
yet known to science. The new element has been named Pelosium. The chemical
symbol of Pelosium is Pu. Pelosium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy
neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311. These
particles are held together by dark particles called morons, which are surrounded by
vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Pelosium’s mass actually increases over time, as morons randomly interact with
various elements in the atmosphere and become assistant deputy neutrons within the
Pelosium molecule, leading to the formation of isodopes. This characteristic of moron-
promotion leads some scientist to believe that Pelosium is formed whenever morons
reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as
Critical Morass.

When catalyzed with money, Pelosium activates MSNBCobnoxium and
CNNadnausium, both elements that radiate orders of magnitude more energy, albeit as
incoherent noise, since they have half as many peons but twice as many morons as

Since it has no electrons, Pelosium is inert. However, it can be detected chemically as
it impedes every reaction it comes in contact with. According to the discoverers, a
minute amount of Pelosium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete
when it would have normally occurred in less than a second. In the presense of anti-
morons, Pelosium can be extremely corrosive. Botox seems to distort and smooth it's
surface, without impeding it's ongoing decay.

Pelosium has a normal half-life of approximately two years, at which time it does not
decay, but instead undergoes a transmutation, appearing in a new location but
displaying the same properties. In this process, assistant neutrons, vice neutrons and
assistant vice neutrons exchange places. Some studies have shown that the atomic
mass actually increases after each transmutation.

Research at other laboratories indicates that Pelosium occurs naturally in the
atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points such as government agencies, large
corporations, universities, and anywhere there is news coverage occurring. It can
usually be found in the newest, best appointed, and best maintained buildings.

Scientists point out that Pelosium is known to be toxic at any level of concentration
and can easily destroy any productive reaction where it is allowed to accumulate.
Attempts are being made to determine how Pelosium can be controlled to prevent
irreversible damage, but results to date are not promising.

-- Note [by cwp]: a very small amount of knowledge of science will be required to
understand the humor of this article. A very small amount of science can be found in
the average high school student.


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