Irony Alert: Not for the Faint of Heart.
[This I beheld, or dreamed it in a dream. I am not responsible for what goes on in the mind of the One-Eyed King.]
In the Land of the Blind, the One-Eyed man was King. He was often confused, and one day sat alone
in his parlor, thinking deeply about the things that confused him.
“I am a Christian,” he said, “but I wish I could understand
more. Christianity seems so simple to
some, especially those who have no eyes, but I get confused at times. Jesus died on a cross and that seems to be
very important to Christians. But why
did He die?
“It seems to me,” the One-Eyed King said to himself, “that
before Jesus came God spoke to Moses and gave His commandments to Moses. This gave the Jews a special relationship to
God. But what happened? Why did Jesus come? It seems that Moses defined the will of God
for the Jews and, therefore, for mankind, for in the Jew all the families of
the world were to be blessed, as God told Abraham. But how could they be blessed if they did not
live by the law that Moses gave the Jew.”
He thought about it for a long, long time. It was very hard for him, but after one very
hard day of thought, with his head bowed and his one eye staring at the
ground, he suddenly jumped to his feet.
“I see! I see!” exclaimed the One-Eyed King. “Jesus came to lead us to Moses, to show us
how important the laws given to Moses are for the good of mankind. Men live by the law. The Jews did not do what Moses commanded
them, and this was the reason that Jesus came. If the Jews had been better at
obeying Moses, then Jesus would not have needed to come. Jesus died on the cross to teach us that we
really need to take Moses seriously and keep every one of his laws.” He came to show us how to do the law and to
give us power to do it. Wow! (Tears of joy streamed from his blind eye.)
“God promised Israel a land flowing with milk and
honey. They would be very rich just as
Abraham was very rich. Jesus didn’t want
His people to be poor, so He died so they could be rich. This is what that saying of Paul must mean,
that Jesus ‘though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, that ye
through his poverty might be rich.’
Jesus humbled Himself and was poorer than the foxes so that Christians
could have three or four houses, one for the summer, one for the winter, and
another for skiing and still another for European vacations. It fills even my blind eye with tears to think
that He loved us so much.”
“God is also very concerned about holy days,” the One-Eyed
King continued, as he got up from his chair in his parlor and walked out upon
the veranda. “The Jews didn’t do well
with this, and never seemed to be able to get this right. They did their own things on the Sabbath Day
and thought their own thoughts and sought their own pleasure. This was very distressful to God, who wanted
them to think His thoughts and seek His pleasure one day of the week. If they did that, then they could live the
other six days as they pleased, thinking their own thoughts, seeking their own
pleasures, and doing their own things.
"Moses told them how important that holy day was and how everything
depended upon it. If they kept that day
very holy, then they didn't really need to think about what it meant to be holy
the rest of the week. Preachers really
need to concentrate on what you don’t do on the Sabbath Day, because God really
cares about what you don’t do on holy days.
Besides, if you get the holy days right, then God will make you
rich. Riches are very important. Jesus died so we could be rich. If you get the seventh day right then God
will bless you so much that you will be much richer than the poor suckers who
work all the time. Jesus wants us to be
rich.
“Especially important are two worship services on
Sunday. Christians should earnestly
contend with one another over how much rest they should get on the Day of
Rest. God is really concerned about
this. After all, He rested on the
seventh day and knows how important rest is.
It is so important that Jesus died on the cross to teach us that we
should have at least two services on Sunday.
It is very hard for me to see how Sunday is the seventh day. I guess I would need both eyes to see
that. But I see enough to know that I am
very agitated in my soul that some churches only go to church once on
Sunday. How can I have rest in my soul
when I know they are not resting. How
evil is that?
“But I am very certain that God is very concerned about
people having pleasure on the Day of Rest.
I should be very restless in my soul if I think that someone is having
any fun on that day, especially in Colorado where Broncos play. Christianity absolutely depends upon
Christianity having a day of rest so they can be mournful on that day, because
Jesus died for this. I know that I will
never have rest and peace in my soul until everyone is having rest and peace
and no personal fun on Sunday. It my
duty, as I see it with my one eye.
“The Jews were to be a peculiar people, but they were not
peculiar enough at times. They interbred
their cattle, mixed the seed in the field, rounded the corners of their heads,
and marred the corners of their beards.
Some even wore garments made of different kinds of cloth—in the same
garment, would you believe! If they
mixed their cloth how could they be expected to be separate from sinners?
Some of them even didn’t have beards. How excessive was that? How could they possibly have been so
rebellious as not to grow a beard so they could keep God’s commandment about
not marring its corners? It seems so clear to me now,” said the One-Eyed King
to himself. “Jesus had his bearded
plucked out so that we might wear our hair right. Why else would Jesus have His beard plucked
out but to show us that we need to pay more attention to our hair.
“How can you be godly if you don’t wear your hair
right? It is clear that every man must
have a beard because how could he not mar its corners if he didn’t have
one? Why else do men have facial hair if
not to not mar the corners. Too bad
about the women. It shows they cannot be
holy, but then, some women do have some facial hair, so there may be room among
the godly for some of them. But they
should never shave or pluck their facial hair, for that would make them as
wicked as the men who shave. Shaving
really mars the corners of the beard which is shameful.
“But women who do not have facial hair will never be able to
have the blessing and be rich because they will never be able to get Moses
right. No wonder God doesn’t have much
use for women because they will never be able to have beards with un-marred
corners. They will never be able to keep
Moses perfectly. I understand a lot more
now that I am getting the hair thing right.
It’s too bad that my people do not have one eye so that can see it like
I do.
“But then,” quoth the One-Eyed King. “Moses didn't have it completely right,
maybe. Nature taught the Corinthians
that it is a shame for a man to have long hair.
Nature must trump Moses who said they shouldn’t cut their hair. How can a man not have long hair if it is a
sin to round the corners of his head or wicked to mar the corners of his
beard? Why is it natural for a man to have
a long beard but unnatural for him to have long hair? Whatever was going on with the
Corinthians? I guess the sin is growing
unnatural long hair on the top of your head, or perhaps in having unnatural
short hair on your chin. But it seems
pretty certain that it is natural for most women not to have beards. No
temptation there. I guess that shaving
his beard is a sign that a man doesn’t want to grow up manly but wants to be a
sissy with cheeks like a woman. But God
does seem to care a lot about hair if Jesus died so we could get it right. Jesus died to make us peculiar. Didn’t He?
“It is really tough to have only one eye,” sighed the
One-Eyed King.
“But then,” the One-Eyed King went on. “Maybe Moses did have it right. He said that Samson was strong and manly
until Delilah cut his hair, and then he became a sissy with short hair. When it grew out again his manly strength
returned, it seems. But I am confused,”
the One-Eyed King mused. “If it is
shameful for a sissy with long hair to pray and honorable for a manly man to
pray with his short hair, then why did God not hear Samson with short hair, but
did hear Samson with long hair? How
could he have had faith when he was a shameful sissy and not have faith when he
was manly? And why did the male
Nazarite have instructions about cutting his hair but a woman Nazarite receive
no instructions about hers? Could she
cut her hair after her vow was over?
Although I have only one eye, I do know that the law of the Nazarite was
for women as well as men.
“But why is it natural for my hair to grow long if nature
teaches me it is shameful? It must be
something about the fall. Adam must have
had short hair because God made Adam good, not shameful. Sin must have something to do with the
hair. Man cannot love God if he has long
hair for that is naturally shameful. But
Moses said it is wrong to round the head or mar the corners of the beard. It is certain that Jesus didn’t do that at
all, for then He would have been shameful.
The hair grows long naturally, but if a man really loves God he will cut
off that natural growth. Somehow it is
natural for the hair to grow out long so that it can teach us that it is
shameful for a man to have long hair.
But he must do this cutting very carefully lest he round his head or mar
the corners of his beard for then he will look like a heathen priest, which is
shameful. This is perfectly clear, even
to a man with one eye. I wonder if I
could see it better if I closed my good eye.”
“But I am very tired,” the One-Eyed King said in his
soul. “I cannot think any more about
this. But one thing is clear to me. The purpose for Christ’s death on the cross
will be completely fulfilled when we all get Moses right. This is what Jesus meant when He said, “the
law was given by Moses, but grace and truth came by Jesus Christ.” Isn’t it?
What else could it mean? It does
have something to do with hair, though.
The attendants came at this time to help the One-Eyed King
get ready for bed. He slept fitfully and
finally only slept when he vowed to continue his musings at a later date.
[This I beheld, or dreamed it in a dream. I am not responsible for what goes on in the mind of the One-Eyed King.]
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